Little Miss / Me / Our Life Now / Parenting

What to Expect when you’re Expecting

I watched a movie recently, “What to expect when you are expecting”, now, I’m not quite sure what genre this movie falls into, its not really a chick flick or a rom-com, there is no way in hell you could convince a man to watch it with you, (you know sometimes your other half gives in and agrees to a chick flick every once in a while) and if I didn’t have a child I probably wouldn’t want to watch it.  Anyway, it got me thinking about my pregnancy and how I had no idea what to expect from the crazy journey I was about to embark on. I had no friends with children and still don’t really…

A few days before D-day!

A few days before D-day!

When people tell you they had an easy pregnancy, don’t believe them, its lies, (or they forgot, which is probably what happens most of the time since we always seem go through it again and again) there is nothing easy about a little human growing inside your body. Don’t get me wrong, there were moments during my pregnancy that weren’t difficult, I mean, the physical stuff I could deal with…somewhat…the mental stuff…oh wow, that was a whole other story.

The 9 months waiting for child to arrive, I say arrives as if its a pleasant wait, its not, you have morning sickness that sometimes lasts the whole 9 months, you have sciatica, constant back pain, your boobs hurt constantly, you crave food you usually hate, you don’t want to be touched AT ALL, (then they tell you the best way to get the baby out is to have sex, are you kidding me??) then sometimes you are totally in the mood but your other half has no idea where he stands with that, he’s just a big walking hormone for the whole 9 or 10 months. You have swollen everything, you pee yourself because you have no bladder control, you’re sleep deprived because it is impossible to get comfortable, you have headaches, you cry at everything – my mind was not my own, my personality was not my own. I have to be thankful that Mark was gone for the latter part of my pregnancy, and I’m glad he asked me to marry him 3 months in, any later and he may not have asked!

I won’t tell you my “birth story”, it’s not me, (I have shared my breastfeeding story) but I will tell you, I had an emergency C-section with Little Miss and during the procedure the surgeon thought he clipped my bladder whilst removing my child from my uterus. YES, thought he did, because there was too much blood, delightful eh? We had to wait for someone to repair it and risk the anesthetic wearing off, fortunately they managed to get to the bottom of the problem before any major problems occurred. I also have a blood disorder called porphyria so that caused some complications with the healing process. Those things aside, actually having my baby was fine, the 5 days in hospital afterward, dreadful!

I look so happy, don't I?

I look so happy, don’t I?

In the first few weeks once baby is here, its all worth it though, right?

Well, its all worth it if you forget the sleep deprivation, the constipation, the fact your body STILL isn’t your own, the inability to control your pelvic floor, (damn not doing those exercises!!) the fact you still don’t want to be touched by your other half AT ALL, the watermelons you have attached to your chest (I loved mine after a few weeks, first time in my life I looked down and smiled, I know some women look down and cry!) and all the extra weight you didn’t care about putting on when you were eating for 2 (which we all knew was a myth but we did anyway) becomes a major problem when you start to think about how you are going to get back to your old self. (your old self will never return!!) THEN there’s the guilt that comes once you get the hang of this parenting malarky…guilt about everything…and constant worry, but that’s a post for another day!

Having a baby is not a walk in the park, it’s crap for about 10 months, (maybe more for some people) then a little less crap, THEN its wonderful, amazing, beautiful, life changing….and all the other words/phrases you hear from women when they tell you about pregnancy. My advice: believe what you need to believe to get yourself through…

Now, I’m not pregnant but I have been broody for a while, since I wrote “Time for Another” back in June it’s been on my mind. Everything in me is telling me it’s not the right time for ME, I know it’s not, Mark and I would love another little one but I just have to put myself first for a while…so maybe writing this post has served as a reminder that I need to wait a few more years…

How was your pregnancy? A walk in the park or enough to put you off doing it again?

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7 thoughts on “What to Expect when you’re Expecting

  1. It was UGH. Seriously a bad birthing experience but for every “painfree, med-free, birthing is the joy of my life” story I hear from women, there are literally five mommas sharing their horror stories. I finally saw What to Expect and it was surprisingly better than what I expected.

  2. Ah Louise I’m sad that you had such a rotten time being pregnant. And your birth experience pretty bad too. It’s weird fir me to see this take on pregnancy because almost everything you wrote I felt the polar opposite. (But you are not in anyway in a minority I know many people who have wished away the 9months) having been preggy 6 times! Resulting in 5 beautiful healthy children. My first positive pregnancy test ended in miscarriage after 8 weeks. From then on in i made it my intention to embrace all thd symptoms of pregnancy. The sore boobs. Migraines. Tiredness. Head stuck in the loo for months and being diagnosed with hypremesis twice. Anemia. And the emotional roller coaster that it very much is. I looked at all of these as a much needed reassurance that my pregnancies were healthy and continuing. Having had 2 premature babies too. I find it hard to empathise with women who moan about going on time or being overdue. As someone who had to feed their tiny 4lb baby girl through a tube up her nose and watch them prick her for blood in an incubator these people need to visit a neonatal ward and revisit their thoughts on that. May sound corny but I absolutely loved being pregnant and to this day miss my bump(s) I have decided that I won’t be having anymore and for me the thought of not feeling that tiny baby kick or move inside me ever again makes me sad. But nonetheless very blessed with what I have.

    Please please don’t let your experience with Mia put you off expanding your family. See it as a new experience and don’t compare to what went before. As you said. The most rewarding life enhancing thing there ever was.

    Xxxxxxxxxxx

    • Thanks for sharing your comment Amanda, I love that it got you thinking about your wee ones and pregnancy, I think I’ve told you before, you really are amazing having 5 kids and still managing to keep your head, looking fabulous doing it!
      It doesn’t surprise me you loved being pregnant, going through what you went through first time, and with your little premies, it really would make you stop and reevaluate what it’s all about. To be honest, my pregnancy wasn’t dreadful, I didn’t hate it, it wasn’t easy as I did have all the problems I mentioned in the post but I’ve heard of women having a lot worse time. I LOVE that we created a little life, she challenges me and amazes me more and more daily.
      Having our Little Miss hasn’t put me off having another at all, I just think I need to be in the right place mentally, as it takes a lot to get back to your old self (physically and mentally) after having a baby. Thanks for the advice about not comparing pregnancies, its so easy to do, but I need to remember that women’s bodies respond differently with each pregnancy. I’ll remember for next time! I hear after you have one everything becomes a lot easier….I’ll let you know!
      Thanks again for your comment xx

  3. Hi, its Matts’ little sister Barbara here. Matt told me the chicken drumstick story and said your blog was great, so I had to check it out. This is the one that most caught my attention though – What to expect when you’re expecting. What to expect, indeed. I fist met you when my daughter was 4 weeks old. I had been up visiting my stepmum in hospital and I met you in the pub afterwards.I’m not sure if you remember, as I think you, Matt and the gang and been there a bit before we arrived! – We talked about your Little Miss briefly then, and mine, and all the pits and peaks that go hand in hand with parenting. I just wanted to say thanks for writing ‘What to Expect when you’re Expecting’ – it was eye opening, a complete revlation for me. It is the most honest thing I’ve read since becoming pregnant. My daughter is now 13 months old, and my other half and I are expecting another baby in June – unplanned. I am terrified of getting PND again. Even though this blog didn’t alleviate my fears completely, it was refreshing and a bit emotional to hear someone ele admit how shit the first ten months are. Thank-you

    Barbara McCall xxx

    • Barbara, of course I remember you!! We met another time after that, when you were feeling a lot better in your role as first time mum. I really hope second time is a lot better for you, pnd is a dreadful thing to go through…just dont be afraid to ask for help and recognise the signs. Pay real attention to your feelings and dont put things to the back of your mind hoping it will go away.
      Thanks for stopping by the blog. I write a whole lot of stuff about random stuff so feel free to stop by again mrs. Congrats on your second, will look forward to some pics from uncle matt! X

  4. Pingback: Crazy Dutch. | Comin' Home Soon

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