Me / Our Life Now / Random Ramblings

My Thoughts on my “Friends”

A fellow blogger (I Rock So What – if you haven’t checked her out yet, do it, she’s brill) posted an interesting topic last night and it got me really thinking about social media, mainly Facebook, and how it affects me on a day to day basis.

I wrote a post in the beginning, when I started blogging, about how I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share my thoughts with my world and how I deleted people from Facebook that I didn’t speak to that much anymore. It felt stressful for me at the time to delete people but some of those people I hadn’t spoken to in years, or even spoke much to when we were in the same place, (school, college, work) so I came to terms with it pretty quickly. I’ve had a few moments of awkwardness, deleting someone then meeting them, but overall it hasn’t affected my life too much. The people on my Facebook now, for the most part, are the people in my life, family, friends, people I have respect for, who are interesting to me, who have made an impact on my life and I care about what’s going on in their lives.

Now, some people may argue that Facebook doesn’t accurately represent “real” relationships in “real” life but I have to disagree, as much as I hate to. I understand why some people believe this, Facebook seems like a false way of keeping in touch, like, there’s no effort required, and for some people out there that have thousands of “friends”, thats true, it is false and no effort is required, but that’s because they don’t know the people on their “friends” list, they don’t care about them personally. It is fake. Some people add people they don’t know, use it as a dating site, play games, advertise, etc, I don’t use Facebook like that, for me it’s not about having a million “friends”, for me its about relationships. I’m almost 32, I have traveled a lot and went to school in quite a few places, I’m fortunate to say I have had 445 people enter my life at some point and leave a mark, (for my dirty minded friends out there, I know who you are, I don’t mean what you’re thinking, cheeky buggers!) that doesn’t seem a lot at all. Facebook allows me to call them friends and keep in touch with them, closely or from afar, as much as I want to.

Now, I’m not going to pretend that I know everything about everyone on my friends list. I don’t. I haven’t actually seen quite a lot of them in a long time. I don’t know their dogs name, I don’t know what political party they support, I don’t know their husband or wife personally, I maybe haven’t met their children, BUT I do know that if we met we’d have a good catch up because we have stayed friends on Facebook and know what is going on in each others lives. We had a relationship at some point in our lives and it meant something to me. I respect the relationships I’ve had, or have, with certain people enough to stay invested, even though we aren’t in each others daily lives.

I often hear people say they are going to delete their Facebook altogether, when it becomes too much for them to keep up with other people’s expectations or when they don’t want other people to know they are going through a tough time in their life. Maybe what they need to do though is just delete the “people” they don’t want in their lives, from their lives…and Facebook! Have people on your Facebook that you care about and care about you, people who respect you and people who would understand when you are in a shitty situation!

Anyway, this isn’t the purpose of this post, initially I was pissed off at myself because I check my Facebook a lot, some days more than others depending on what I am doing that day. Somehow though, since I started writing this, I seem to have convinced myself that it’s not so bad to check my Facebook daily, since the people on there are people I care about.

Facebook is used, and abused, in many ways, but for the most part, my friends use it the same way I do – to keep in contact with people they care about. It’s the only way I keep in contact with some of my friends in other countries, friends I would have lost without the brilliance of that little weirdo genius, now multi-millionaire, Mark Zuckerberg.

So, what are your thoughts? How often do you check your Facebook? Do you even have Facebook? (everyone does, right??) Do you think Facebook represents real relationships? Or, is it an lazy way of keeping in touch?



10 thoughts on “My Thoughts on my “Friends”

  1. I check my facebook every day, even twice (with time difference, when I get up, my friends go to bed). Since I’ve been far away from home for most of my adult life, it’s a wonderful way to keep in touch with what your family, friends, old colleges and even people I went to elementary school with are doing.

    Not that I keep in touch with everybody, sometimes it’s just fun to ‘find’ someone you haven’t seen or heard from in years and find out what they are up to now. So you just send 2 messages back and forth and after that you just read what they post.

    I know most of my facebook ‘friends’ personally and I keep some contacts that keep me in the loop on what’s happening in volleyball world. So a friend in a professional perspective if you will. It does come in handy, just to keep up with news from around the world.

    I do play games on facebook, just because I like to play games. You have to find some way to entertain yourself when you’re caught up with all the shows you watch and you have some time to yourself. I know it’s a guilty pleasure, but I allow myself to just waste my time.

    As far as posting goes, I almost never do. As long as I’m a professional athlete, I don’t think I will either. There’s a lot of perspectives that you have to take into consideration (team, sponsor, fans) and a post can be easily misinterpreted. I don’t want to offend anybody or put myself in an awkward position, so I just play it safe and ‘like’ stuff.

    So to sum up, I don’t think it’s a lazy way to keep in touch. I think it’s a fun way to keep an interest in your friends’ life.

    • Chiane, thank you!!!! This puts my mind at ease somewhat…since we have a lot in common with our lifestyles. As for the games, its ok that you play them, though I think I could tell you some more TV shows you’d love. (or maybe you watch EVERYTHING??)

  2. I may be one of those only people that doesn’t have Facebook people talk about. I initially stayed away because of the thought that if I wanted to be in touch with you, I probably already am. But I do see the fun in it and believe that for us who live overseas, it is a easier way to keep up with people at times. Having said all that, I still don’t have Facebook though and am more of an instagram user now. Who knows, maybe some day we will go to the ‘dark side’ and get an account…

  3. I got Facebook originally so I could have another way of connecting with my stepkids who were teens at the time. But now the people I connect with most on there are my family and some friends back in the States. They use it for updates, for requests for advice on some things and generally it’s a nice way for me to kind of be involved in their lives in a way that I couldn’t be before FB.

    I am also trying to get my head around using it for my blog page as well–an American Resident FB page. I’m hoping to use it as another way to connect to readers, but also it’s potentially a better way to ‘friend’ some people who I don’t really know but want to connect with online, keeping my family and good friends separate from people I don’t know so well. Make sense? I’m still learning so it barely makes sense to me!

    Anyway, I’m with you on it not being so bad to check FB. I have mine on all the time on a separate tab and every now and then I’ll click over to it and read through some timelines or reply to something. For me it’s more about ANYthing on the internet being limited to certain blocks of time. If I’m at my computer it’s all there to distract me so I make sure I am only at my computer at certain times! Well, it sometimes works… 😉

    • You know, I never thought about using facebook as a way to connect with fellow bloggers that I didn’t know personally but still wanted to keep in touch with and get to know…something for me to think about in the future, let me know how you get on with your page!
      And I’m the same as you, I really want to know and understand how to do all this bloggie/techie stuff better. Self teaching is not working…

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