Today Little Miss and I went to work with Mark.
After Mark and his teammates “played” a warm up game of basketball, he took Little Miss with him to the weight room for an hour.
I had the gym to myself.
Me, a Basketball, a Hoop. HEAVEN.
Its been a long time since I’ve spent time alone in the gym. When I was in high school I used to go to the gym to practice at 7am, after school, I stayed there til 10pm, practicing.
Sometimes I would turn off the lights in the gym, leave a few on, stand on the free throw line and shoot. (for all the good it did, I was terrible at free throws, still am!!)
I loved being there by myself, this was my heaven. Where I found peace. Where I was most comfortable. Where I was me.
I’ve written before about my basketball career so I wont bore you all again but I will say that today I found some peace again. As I practiced in the gym by myself I felt like I was getting myself back a little. I could feel the game coming back to me.
My basketball career ended so abruptly, it was over with one question, one decision, one answer, one bad choice.
Today I felt like I was 18 again, for the first time in a long time I felt like I was capable of achieving anything.
I don’t know where I go from here…but I do know I need to really sit down and think about it. Maybe I have some unfinished business with this game? Maybe I’m not quite done yet?
Maybe my body isn’t capable of doing what it once did, but right now, I don’t think I’ve really ever given it a chance…
Maybe these feelings I have are just wishes and regrets? I don’t know.
Have you ever had a feeling that somethings not quite over? What did you do? Do you ever get that “what if” feeling in your stomach? Did you act on it?