I haven’t been completely honest, there’s more to my story than I’ve let on. I started blogging because I wanted to have a voice again, my brain wasn’t being used much and I felt useless most days. I wanted to get my feelings and opinions out there for others to read and connect with me. Somewhere along the line though, I started creating an image of our life…and as it turns out, the image I portrayed is not an accurate one. So, here’s the truth…
Am I head over heels in love with Mark and my Little Miss? Yes. Do we live in the South of France? Yes. Is it gorgeous? Yes. Do I worry about the future? Yes. Am I happy? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Are we financially comfortable? Not really. Am I comfortable with who I am now? No. Are we as happy all the time as we appear to be? No.
So there you go, my life is far from perfect, there are some things I’d change in a second.
Some days I feel like I’m a crap mum, like I’m not giving Little Miss enough of my time. Some days I worry that we don’t have saving, job security or stability for Little Miss. Some days I feel depressed with no motivation, I want to scream, pick up something and launch it across the room for no reason at all. Some days I’m so desperately unhappy because I want to do something else, feel fulfilled. Some days I want to be more than who I am now. I want to be a better version of myself. On those days I hate myself and my life.
Those days come and go…but after all of this honesty, it does make me wonder if anyone is every truly happy and worry free?
What does the world see when they look at you? Is it what you want them to see?