In the beginning / Me / Our Life Now

It meant something…

“People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou – Conversations with Maya Angelou (1989)

We have a funny little life and I love it. We move around, live all over Europe, meet lots of people from different walks of life. There are some downsides though. The obvious ones, distance and family, but the toughest thing I’ve learnt to deal with is saying goodbye. Wherever we live I know that eventually we will leave the city, leave friends and move on to another city, maybe another country.

Goodbyes are hard, it still hurts sometimes. I don’t cry now though, I’ve been saying goodbye to people and places since I was 18, I’ve got a lot of experience. I’m not hard hearted at all, I’m a big softy if truth be told, I just have to believe that if we are meant to be friends, its not really goodbye, we’ll always be in each others lives, no matter the distance.

Some people I keep in contact with regularly, we are still invested IN each others lives, we are lucky enough to have survived the distance and call each other friend. Some though, I don’t speak to at all but if we crossed paths again, we’d smile, chat and remember the fun times we shared during a period in our lives when we were together, in the same place. I still look on the times we shared together fondly…we were there for each other when we needed it, knowing there was the possibility we wouldn’t make it into each others future didn’t make me less invested in that moment, it doesn’t detract from our memories, they still meant something to me. Those people still mean something to me.

ALL of the friendships I’ve made over the years have meant something to me in some way. They made me feel. Left a footprint on my heart. I’m not able to stop feeling, stop caring, if I like someone, I’m not made like that. I do believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason.

Last night I said goodbye to a friend, at the moment she is en route to visit my friends in Scotland for a week before she heads back to the USA. I’ll miss her. My Little Miss will always run to our door when she hears it knock and shout “Alexis” completely unaware that she won’t be there. That’s going to be hard to explain to my little girl as she gets older, especially if she is anything like me! Alexis, lets make sure we make it into each others future!

What about you, do you find goodbyes hard? Do you have friends who have come and gone but you’ll keep with you forever? Or do you only have a few friends, you don’t bother with people who don’t bring something to your life? I’m interested to know….

Some pictures of the people I’ve met over the years, some closer than others but ALL of them special to me in some way!

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9 thoughts on “It meant something…

  1. This is such a touching post ! I can relate to that. I have become very “philosophical” about it. It takes time and effort to keep a relationship alive. And it is very easy to lose touch with someone…I haven’t travelled as much as you have but I have lived in UK before moving to Canada and I am in France at the moment – catching up for everyone for the next three months. Anyways, thanks for sharing. I loved reading it.

  2. Hi Louise, thanks for the comments on my blog. I get so giddy when I can read about other people’s adventures that I can relate to. Sounds like you can understand the constant upheaval of moving around, it’s fun though as I’m not complaining. As a result goodbyes are such a big part of our lives. It stinks to have to do it and every august I have this ‘pit’ in my stomach cause I know we are leaving soon but I have gotten a little better at them and skype has helped bunches for us. I look forward to reading more of your adventures:)
    Nikki

    • Nikki,
      Thank you for commenting too. I got quite excited reading your blog, I found it through the Erica’s feature on basket wives today. I can totally relate to all of the girls on there even though I’m a volley gal πŸ™‚ I used to play bball too so kinda feel like I have the best of both worlds.
      You must see a lot of people come and go if you’ve been in France since 2004? Goodbyes defo get easier! Skype is the best thing EVER, when I lived in the states YEARS ago, there wasn’t such a thing, I swear I don’t know what I’d do now without it!
      Thanks again for stopping by! πŸ™‚

      Louise xo

  3. Extra like on this post. This is a topic I think a lot about. I’ve moved from continent to continent since birth and possibly as a result can sometimes have a bit of an “out of sight out of mind” attitude. The truth is, even though I’m not great at keeping in touch, I think about my friends scattered over the world often, even the ones that were only a part of my life for a moment, and it’s true that every one of them is with me in fond and funny memories from time to time. Somehow though goodbye never really hurts, I don’t know if I’m just hardened from a life of impermanence, or if it’s just that I take comfort in knowing that each friend that leaves (or that I leave) means another place to crash when I inevitably find myself where they are. Or maybe it’s that people seem to keep reappearing in my life in one way or another and that leaving is rarely forever.

    • Sarah, thanks for the comment, glad to know I wont be too far from your thoughts when we part ways. You will ALWAYS have a bed (or sofa) in our home wherever in the world we end up!
      “Out of sight, out of mind” will never be the case with us! Just so you know πŸ˜‰

  4. This was a nice read. Goodbyes, though sometimes hard are a necessary part of life and don’t have to ever be permanent. If they are, then you take the memories/ lessons and forge ahead with your own life. I find it a lot easier to let go of people thesedays as you gotta clear the decks sometimes for some more good times to enter. I wouldn’t keep a dead plant on my windowsill, I’d buy or grow a new one and nurture that instead. Flogging dead horses in friendships and relationships is a negative, in my book, but I don’t judge those who do continue with that pattern anymore, their choice and I choose to move out ahead. Sometimes certain things are just not meant to be as it would bring hassle to another or yourself and sometimes the tenuous links that connect people can cause issues. Why even have that hassle in life? I’m afraid I wasn’t born to live and learn through struggling, however some of the most difficult people I’ve encountered have been my biggest teachers on how and why I should let go. I’ve been through physical, verbal & emotional abuse to know that I don’t fear change anymore, however I can sometimes waver, but by and large, its out with the old and in with the new for me πŸ™‚ Chasing, struggling and clinging have never & will never work for me and in reply to the qustion of not bothering with people who don’t bring something to your life, for me, it’s more a case of needing to find that security within my own self. I bring that something, (whatever it may be at the time), into my own life, its taken me a loooong time to actually grasp and be able to sucessfully do that πŸ™‚ x

    • Thanks for your comment Scanner πŸ˜‰
      I really like the dead plant metaphor…although I’ve had a plant in my house for almost 10 years, I bought it when I moved in, it started off tiny, its now massive. I leave for months on end without water and every time I come home, it looks dead, with no life…I give it a little water, care for it for whilst im home….and it lives on! I will be distraught when/if my little plant finally gives up on me but it seems to do just fine the way things are right now.
      Just some food for thought…….
      xo

  5. I also have a plant (11 years old), it had grown to reach the ceiling and I cut it down in half and made another plant, both are now thriving, there’s a lot to be said for pruning πŸ˜‰ cut things back for a while and watch them grow bigger! Lol. But again, moving away from the plant’s, getting rid of the things that cant be saved or nurtured or cutting back some things, allows better to come in. Always. I love debating this type of thing as we are all different and what works for one may not work for another but it’s all good. Goodbyes happen for a reason and by and large its always been a positive move for me. I see that eventually πŸ™‚ Learn the lessons if it’s been negative and treasure the memories if it’s been positive x

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