ME!! (Well, Mark too…I guess! haha!)
I was talking to my friend the other day about parenting. She spent some time recently in NYC and whilst traveling around the city, central park, Brooklyn, etc, observed a lot of children with adults/care-givers who clearly weren’t their parents, they were nannies. Apparently, in New York having a nanny is quite common. Now, I’m not in a position to have a nanny, nor would I even think about it. Its not even an issue I’ve given much thought to, until the other day.
I mean, I don’t think I’m a judgmental parent at all…you won’t see me blogging about how I’ve got it all figured out or how some parents are doing it all wrong (Parenting 101) but when I hear about families who have nannies, I get a little concerned, alarm bells start to ring. My instinct is to defend the working mum or dad. I know a lot of women who struggle with the choice to go back to work when they have children, every day they carry guilt with them when they leave the house. “Am I making the right decision for my family?” They struggle to leave their child with another family member part of the day or in daycare the whole day. Then I hear that families have nannies even when only one parent works, I wonder why? Why would a couple have children and have someone else raise them for the majority of their lives?
The morals and beliefs I want to instill in my child are passed down to them by me, if I’m not in their life, who’s morals do they learn?
I’m not against families having nannies to help out, if the parents work full time. I’ve been a nanny, I worked with a wonderful family, with 2 wonderful kids. Both parents worked and spent quality time in the evenings and weekends with their children. I was not a live in nanny, I didn’t have sole responsibly for the children, their parents did and the children knew it. I didn’t decide how to discipline the children, the parents did. I can’t imagine any other way it would work. Or should work.
I know every persons situation is different but if having a nanny is becoming a trend, a status symbol, then I fear for the future of those kids. If one parent doesn’t work and just needs a nanny to look after the children whilst they go for coffee/drinks/shopping/gym, then I worry what kind of life these children are going to grow up to have. Will they be bitter, resentful towards their parents? Will they understand what having a child is really about? Love, Respect, Trust?
I know its a controversial subject, parenting, but what are your thought? Should people have kids if they aren’t in a position to raise them? Or is having a nanny a good substitute for a parent, at least the kids aren’t in daycare all day or latchkey kids?
What do you think?