Little Miss / Me / Our Life Now

Time for another??

“When are you having another?” 

I think every new parent gets asked this question at some point in their lives. Its a question that I  respond directly with “oh, I don’t know, about 8 years!” and more often than not, get a rather shocked reaction. People always ask if I want my children close in age so they can grow up being friends, etc, and to be honest, that doesnt bother me in the slightest. Mark and his sister are 9 years apart and they get along just fine. My sister and I are twins and she grew up hating me. I don’t think it makes a whole lot of difference how many years apart kids are, if they get along, GREAT, if they don’t, they don’t. Its life, there are no guarentees! Now, if a woman wants to have the children close together so she gets all the body trauma out the way fast, then thats a different story, I totally get that! Its not how I’m doing it but I get it.

I love being a mother to Little Miss, she’s a very easy going little girl who, for the most part, causes us no problems. I love that we can share our life experiences with her and we can make amazing memories and she be part of them. We lead quite a unconventional lifestyle, as you probably know already, and having one child is all I believed we could handle right now.

Last night, Mark and I went to a friends house to catch up with him and his family. BAD IDEA!! He has 2 little girls and both of them are adorable, the oldest is the same age as Little Miss and the youngest one is a little over six months. Now, I have always been so sure that for the moment one child is enough, I just got my body back to where I am comfortable, I’m excited about working again, playing basketball again, putting myself first, being more than just a mum, etc…until last night that is. Whilst Mark and his friend caught up, I sat, for the majority of the night, playing and cuddling his youngest little girl, absolutely sure that I wanted another baby asap! Haha. (Mark got excited at the thought, I could tell he was watching me, a million ideas going through his mind. He would have another one now if I agreed!!)

I know we won’t be having another one for a few more years BUT it will probably be a little shorter wait that 5-7 years!

Do you want to have more kids? If you had your children close together, what was your reasons/motivation? Do you only want one child? Do you love kids but not want any of your own? OR are you a young married couple who get asked all the time when you are having some?

What are your thoughts?

xo

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16 thoughts on “Time for another??

  1. As a mommy of four, instead of asking if we’ll have more, people always say, “You’re done now, right?” lol You should see their faces when I tell them we want more. Or when I ask them if that’s really any of their business. :P

    • hahaha, I can imagine!
      Four isnt a lot, is it?
      I like the idea of having lots of kids, though the reality would be quite different I think.
      Thanks for commenting. I enjoyed reading some of your posts, you have this mummy thing DOWN! :)
      I like your outlook!

      Louise xo

  2. Ahhh, the baby itch! My husband is a baby-lover, too. The pressure!
    I have a brother who is 20 years younger than me. Our age difference afforded me the chance to get a sneak peak at motherhood, he taught me about selfless love, about how beautiful new life is. I have a 2.5 year old daughter and decided to have our second child with a three year gap. I am due in October. I have no idea what the hell it is going to be like, but I am keeping my fingers crossed for the best!

    • WOW!! 20 years? Nice that you were able to get a sneak peak…how is your relationship now?? (if you dont mind me asking??)
      Ah, 3 year age gap sounds like it would work. Its the two under 2 thing that people are doing now that I know for sure I couldnt handle!! I hear from friends that the second time around is always easier, you’re more confident in the role second time around…which means you’ll be fine! :)
      Congrats on number 2!!

      Lou xo

      • My brother and I are very close..but he is even closer to my daughter. They are thick as theives. We have a very playful, if parental, relationship. Coparenting with my mom is the cool part- it is fun to have someone so close to me to vent to.

  3. i get a little embarassed anwsering the questions about will i be having any more. Although i don’t mind talking about the miscarraiges I have had, i feel embarrassed for the person when they get my reply.
    I’ve noticed Graham experience the same embarrasment when people ask about his perants and he has to announce his dad is dead.(not that I’m comparing the loss, Just the question)
    I dislike that hector is an “only child”, but alas what will be, will be. As much as I feel i am cut out for motherhood, my body is just not cut out for pregnancy.
    Had I had another, I would of liked a small age gap. Its true that its not a deciding factor in wether they’ll get along. However I do like the idea of them having shared memories of childhood. Colin and I have a 6 year age gap and very few shared memories.

    Avril x x x

    • yeah, I agree Avril…some questions just arent anyone else’s business, but somehow people think its ok to ask about babies..like its the exception.
      xo

  4. I’m only 20 so I have no answers to your questions, but I have a question of my own- just how hard is it to find yourself and be the person you once were after having a child.Do you lose yourself completely?

    • Thank you so much for your comment and question…its a very interesting one, which is kind of tricky for me to answer.
      I was happy with my life pre baby. I’m out-going, confident and fairly sociable and during my pregnancy and once my daughter was born; I continue to be. Nothing has really changed in that respect. I’m still Louise. I have however changed a lot of my outlooks on life. I’m not sure however if its primarily down to becoming a mum OR because I’m getting older and this would have naturally changed.
      I’m not and have never wanted to be just a mum, though sometimes I feel like it. (some women want this in life but it wasnt ever my plan, please dont think I am talking down to or about women who want to do this, its a tough job.)
      My situation is a little unique though, in that we are expats and live in France. I can’t work as my french is limited, so through circumstance, I’m a stay at home mum. Some days I wish I had more options than I do now but for the most part, I’m happy with how things have worked out for me as a mother of one.
      When I am out with my friends, who mostly dont have children, I’m just Louise and have always been that to them BUT when I spend time with other friends who are married or have children, I’m Louise, but i’m also a mother and (soon to be) wife.
      There are so many aspects of your life that change when you become a mother BUT I do feel like I have held onto myself throughout.
      Sorry thats not much an answer but I feel like if you want to lose yourself in motherhood, you should, and if you want to hold onto yourself and your life pre baby, you will!

      Louise xo

      • You sort of did answer my question actually. And I think it’s great that you are able to hold on to yourself in spite of the trials of motherhood.
        I definitely want to be a mother someday(not in another 10 years though) but I want to be able to still be the person I am, follow the dreams I have and hold on to all that defines me and makes me who I am. Thanks for letting me know that’s possible :)

  5. Really enjoyed this blog! Glad the girls inspired you. I knew from the minute little miss arrived that I wanted to have sister(brother) fairly close to her age. With the hope that they would grow up friends, so they could share their childhood memories and for myself. But now I have two beautiful girls there is still the question of do you want another? With the hope that you have a boy. I ask myself if I would have felt like this if we had boy? I’m not sure if I would. All I can say is I know we would like another but not for a while. :) x

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